clarifying

There was some concern after my last post of whether I was depressed.  I am thankful for the concern but thought I should clarify by stating that I am a really honest person...sometimes brutally honest.  I process through emotions by talking about them, and when I do talk about them or blog about them, that is actually a healthy sign that I am on my way to victory and contentment.  When I am not talking is when you should be concerned because when stressed I pull inward.  Living overseas is wonderful in many ways yet it is also a hard adjustment.  It's state of hardness hits people at different times....for me, it hit right away.  For Kenny, it hasn't hit yet.   Most everyone gets over it and adjusts, it just takes time to process and restructure what is "normal" in our minds... or so I am told.

This excerpt was written by someone else who has lived all over the world and it speaks a little to the normalcy of struggling to adjust mentally to all the changes you are encountering:

These physical changes are a little easier than the mental ones.  Don’t let the idiosyncrasies of the locals drive you crazy.  You will be told on numerous occasions how to live your life and raise your children, and for us independent Americans this barrage of advice can be a little hard to bear.  In China, old women on busses would pinch my pants legs and tell me I wasn’t wearing thick enough long underwear.  I have been told here not to sit on cold stone because it isn’t good for women.  Of course, don’t drink cold water because that will make you deathly ill.  Don’t eat yogurt and watermelon at the same time.  Don’t hand something across a doorway.  Don’t hand someone a knife.  And so on, and so on.  By the way, how much money do you make?  Where does your money come from?  What do you pay for rent?  My friends have told me not to trust anyone, that all locals will lie to me and cheat me, except for them of course.  I have chosen to trust everyone unless clearly proven wrong.  I would rather be wronged by one out of every ten people I deal with than to mistrust and doubt all ten.  

No one said it would be easy, you don't choose to move to the other side of the world because it will be easy or comfortable and one would be naive to think that you aren't going to struggle at times with all that is different and difficult in your new world. I hope and pray that one day this new world will be my world, that I will feel more comfortable here than I do elsewhere but this takes time....thankfully time is what I have.   Just know that if I write about a rough day or a less than blissful feeling, I do so because it helps me process.  Writing helps me process and my mind is not alway a happy place to be....but it is an honest place!